i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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