Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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