the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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