Don't make out with my wife yet
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Randomize
