have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
