drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
