a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
