We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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