i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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