he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
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