Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
