i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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