Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
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