But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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