Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
