Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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