Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Pooping to opera.
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