I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
