did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
