erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
we should paint friendship bongs
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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