i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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