Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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