i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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