Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
