I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
