dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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