Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
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Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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