I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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