Quick, to the slutcave!
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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