Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
