my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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