She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
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Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
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Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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