you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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