So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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