ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
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i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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