stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
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