The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
His hands were made for my vagina.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
