I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
