Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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