I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
