my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize