Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
