Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Drunk is not a location!
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
