i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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