Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
