Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
