i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
