So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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