Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize