You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
