Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize
