you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
