wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
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