Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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